


it wasn’t supposed to be like this.

by idiotwerewolf



Series: FMA One Shots [4]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, pre-promised day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27711953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idiotwerewolf/pseuds/idiotwerewolf
Summary: Riza Hawkeye makes a choice she never thought she'd make.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Series: FMA One Shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024006
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	it wasn’t supposed to be like this.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written as a spring with a couple of friends! Enjoy! :)

It had been 72 hours since she’d last seen the Colonel. Apparently, he was sick and called to check in on things at the end of the day, but with the most recent phonecall, Riza could tell something was wrong. The slurred, hesitant words and dark, unsteady tone, the clinking of glass, and the sounds of metal cans being stepped on. She had a pretty good idea as to what she was about to walk into, or she thought she did, at least. 

There was a slight resistance when she pushed open the door to his apartment. Once she was inside and saw it was a half-empty case of beer, her worst fears were confirmed. Colonel Mustang had fallen off the wagon again. The apartment floor was covered with discarded bottles, cans, and pages from the paper, so much so that she could barely see the emerald green carpet she’d helped Roy choose when he got this place a few years back. The air was stale, hot, and reeked of booze. 

Unable to deal with that right now, she went down the hall and entered Roy’s bedroom, which was in a similar state to the living room. The Colonel looked just as bad, half-conscious on his bed, hair a mess, bags under his eyes, and stubble on his face- not the kind that makes someone look handsome, though. 

“You look like hell, sir,” she spoke from the doorway, arms crossed and eyes a mixture of fury and pain. _He was supposed to call. He was supposed to tell her that he was struggling. He promised her this wouldn’t happen again._

“Lieutenant?” Roy mumbled as he sat up and rubbed at his face with the back of his hand, “What’re you doing here? I’m sick.”

“Sick. _Right._ ” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Roy challenged as he got to his feet. He wobbled a little, but Riza made no move to steady him like she would have. She was done doing things like that. She was done enabling him. 

“You know exactly what it means, sir,” she said firmly, “you’re drunk, and you were too scared to tell me.” 

“ _Tell you?_ I don’t have to tell you _anything!_ ” Roy snapped. His eyes suddenly looked more alive, more angry, like the fire his alchemy produced, “You’re just a lieutenant in the military, not my god damn baby sitter! I’m a grown man. I don’t need anyone to boss me around!” _Huh, not even_ _his_ _lieutenant anymore… Just a lieutenant._

“Boss you around? I think you mean save your life!” Riza shot back, matching Roy’s tone without even realizing it.

“I _knew_ you were gonna go there! I don’t need this right now!” 

“This or me?” Riza questioned; her voice quiet now. The words left a sickening taste on her tongue, and no matter how hard she swallowed, she couldn’t get rid of it. Roy didn’t answer. He didn’t even look at her. Taking his silence as an answer, she swallowed hard and forced the words out of her mouth. They came out surprisingly calm despite the turmoil she was feeling inside. The stomach-dropping feeling when you tip back too far in a chair or the way your chest tightens during a sad book, the way your hands tremble uncontrollably when confronted with a past you’d do anything to forget… _She wasn’t going to let him make her feel like this!_ She snapped her eyes up to Roy and took a deep, determined breath. 

“Fine. Lay down and die if you want, but this is where our paths split. After all, I’m _just_ a lieutenant- not your _god damn_ baby sitter!” As much as it pained her, she turned and started walking out of the room, doing everything she could to hold back the tears pricking at her eyes. _You’re Riza Hawkeye. You’re not going to cry over a man._

“So you’re just leaving then?” Roy demanded, “That’s it? You’re just gone?” 

Riza turned very slowly and locked eyes with Roy. His eyes weren’t angry anymore; if anything, they were scared. She wasn’t going to let that stop her. _This is what he needs. He needs you to walk out right now, Riza._

“Yes, sir.”

“You can’t just walk out! You said you’d follow me into hell!” 

“I wouldn’t have said that if I knew I was _already in hell!_ ”

She walked out and slammed the door before Roy could respond. Riza pressed her back into the door and slid to the floor, covering her mouth with one hand to muffle the sounds of her sobs- shoulder shaking, makeup smearing sobs. 

_It wasn’t supposed to be like this. This wasn’t how they were supposed to end._

**Author's Note:**

> Please check out the link below if you're interested in finding out how to support me!
> 
> https://idiotwerewolf.tumblr.com/post/644405793836367872/hi-all-im-broke-as-hell-and-unable-to-work-due


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